By me For you

My joyously love towards you,

                        but you don't want to love me.

Desperately waiting for your one look,

                        but you don't want to see me.

Day-dreaming for your tenderness,

                        but you don't want to show your compassion.

Spending doleful time without you,

                        but you don't want to hear words which i haven't spoken yet.

  

-By me for you

YOU...!!

Don't want to tell you...
Don't want to ask you...
You write it silently and I just want to read it repeatedly....

Don't want any conversation on this...
Because we know...
What we both want to say each other,
What we both want to hear from each other....

It's amazing when you know all things from inside....
And act like you know nothing from outside.....

One day I want to surprise you saying that, "I know everything....I read it more than hundred times.. You r the first person whom i follow silently...And I just love it... How you show and How you hide..."

Conversions with myself

Me to myself :: Am I really independent....??
Myself to me :: No, not a really.But I want to feel independent myself before dying.
Me to myself :: What's yr plan to win this world...??
Myself to me :: Answer is in your question. "World"
Me to myself :: :O
Myself to me :: Yeah, One day I want to reach at that level. When world see me always right. My decisions for myself is only taken by me and no-one's perspective change my decision. I want to become a person who don't need anyone's permission to live my life.
If I want to go somewhere, I just go without any fear.
If I want to try something new, Try it without think about it's risk.
Simply, If I want to fly, I just fly without doubting a little on my wings.
At that point I say, Yeah I am independent and when all people in my country feel exactly like me, I say Yeah... "India is independent country" :)

Smiling like an idiot

Bad thoughts comes free with bad days of life...!! It always happens with everyone, But it's depend on that person how comfortably he or she handle it.
One of my bad thought which always run in my mind is that "Am i ever get a imperfect person who accept my imperfection and i accept his imperfection? " Now days, my eyes are looking for answer in quotes (the only things which i regularly read ). And one-day I read a quote ::

"After a while, you just want to be with one that makes you laugh !!"

Many times I read the same quote but i never find any special feeling. But today when i read the same thing, I was smiling like a idiot :) Because I got a answer of my question after many days. Simply I reverse the sentence and think like, "Spreading happiness in surrounding environment is the only aim of my life. And for me, Make people smile is a easiest task of my life. Then those people always wish me to be part of their life.Why am i thinking the topic in which I am expert ? :)"
My heart smiled like an idiot and memorizing a song  " Together make you love, Forever making you smile :) " 

When was the last time you did something for first time ?

It's first time....

Yeah,It's first time talking....

Yes I am nervous....

Set on terrace roof, It's 7:51 am. 

will call around 8:00 am.

It's remaining 10 minute.

It's nine...

It's nine..nine... Does it stick my watch...!!

I laugh, It's mobile baby. How it's possible ?

I can't handle this feeling more..

Stop it, just call.

Number dial. 

No No... How am I ? 

Cut call...!! waiting.... 

Ahhh... I never feel this nervousness..

Let's stop this.. I call...

Call... "It's out of reach"

I feel like free bird. Put mobile on roof and Start listening song...

It's just 7:59 am...

Let call this time, See what happens.

Call...Ringing... "Hello"..

"Hello, I can't hear anything..."

"Hello...Hello..Hello..." Just disconnected.

Close my eyes.. 

I say myself, "Are you Bhumi? Who speak a lot. My Friends say to me that please stop now, This is too much laughing...!! Who find her way to make smile on any person. I just mess up my first impression,

Feel like hell "

 

Why me?

I cried harder and harder...

My heart just stop....

Need hug again to start...

My eyes need hands to wipe tears...

My forehead is up... 

waiting for your kiss...

Today, I haven't anyone....

But waiting for you my love....

"Please come fast, I need you most "

Today, I am here because of my goodness..

My soul yells, "I am not bad but i am in bad situation"

Fear in my eyes, Where are you? Are you hearing me? 

Say yes... My ears are waiting for your yes....

One question in mind, "Why me ?"

This time mind is blank like sky...

I ask again and again...

Each time, I can't find anything...

Close my eyes and ask my heart, why me?

Answer comes, " Because you are my brave girl, I know you are capable to handle this."

Vacations...!!

Vacations....!!
God teaches unbelievable lessons
When next lesson comes with surprises
Each lesson make me better person by heart not only by mind
After each lesson,I speak conclusion more confidently than any thing
Every lessons have their miracle in-built
My eyes sparks more end more as time goes.
At the end, Emotions comes out with priceless tears.
Story begin with me and end with me...!!

Day of 9th standard vacation, At relative home.... !! It was Monday...!!Went to Shiva temple with granny. Granny went home and I was playing..!! At noon, Returning time for me. I saw one woman as old as my granny and she was waiting for auto. But road had their own silence. I asked her for help. If anything i could.
I : Granny, can i help you? what are you looking for?
Old lady : Smile and what is your name ?
Her hands on my head. Feel me blessed.
I : Bhumi :)
Old lady : I am looking for auto. Your mother must be waiting at home. Go home. I manage.
I : No, Granny. you just wait here. I go to main road and call auto for you.
I was running and even don't wait for her reply.
Running and running...Too far... My breath became faster... But I closed my eyes and I saw old lady face and started running faster and faster.
After too much searching, I found one auto. Went to the place where old lady was waiting for me, in auto.
But when i reached, I saw no-one there. I was speechless for sometime but Auto man's loud words broke my silence. He was very angry on me. Her face and words made me cry. He forced me to give him his money. But... I don't have any...!!I started running towards my relative's home... Running and Crying... Crying and running...And Auto man was following me... I saw behind me...and running more faster...!!
Reached at home, Went direct in room.Put head on bed and crying without speaking any words. Granny asked me what happened. I didn't even speak one word and crying harder and harder. Auto man also reached at home and told my relatives to give him money. Granny went outside and put money on his hand and said him to go from here for humanity. After sometime, I came outside room, I told whole incident. My relatives words were, "No one is as good as we think, Prepare yourself to fight all type of people. Change yourself if you want to don't happen this again and again." I could not understand anything..!! At that time my granny came nearer to me and whisper in my ears and her words were "You do great job. Do it all time" I smiled and washed my face. :)

Any thing which is done by your heart never hurt anyone...!!
Just be yourself :)